


A silent commitment of secrets.

by Siubhan



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Other, Warning thoughts about her sexual abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 22:21:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9789689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siubhan/pseuds/Siubhan
Summary: Character study, Maggie Blaine.It's purely my POV.





	

A SILENT COMMITMENT OF SECRETS. 

He’s dead. My husband is dead.

I don’t have to share him with someone else any longer.

If there was a share at all. 

In his way he loved me and in my way I appreciated him, because he kept my secret and respected it.

 

And now he’s dead. And they will pin that label on him.

That marker I knew all along.

He was a good guy.

We both needed each other. I knew he had that quirk, recognized his fondness about man. I had a fine live with him; I could talk about my tendency.

If I hadn’t come across John, I would never have married.

Most of the time I’m constantly troubled when it comes to the opposite sex., when they’re in the vicinity of my existence. I detest them.

I loath ….. him, I despise the dirty rat who turned me into a frigid woman.

But with John……when I met him………we knew we weren’t average people.

And now he is dead and they know, the secret blown.

“David, John was a good man what ever you find out”.

I look at little Davy, he’s the son to us we would never have.

Babies. Not for us.

We both kept each others self-respect and we felt secure with each other.

As John felt safe in that crooked Hotel.

Yes I knew, but as he never talked about my past, I would never asked him about his friends and that made our house another perfect sanctuary and that’s why people saw us as a happy married couple.

I didn’t like the sex and his performance was below the mark as a gay man.

But despite of the fact that, I was able to tolerate it.

I could tell that his mind always wandered off.

He stroked my back, kissed my butt. And it didn’t arouse me. But I gave him what he wanted and stimulated him from time to time, when one of his many relationships broke off again.

He never touched my breast and I was so grateful for that, because he knew.

My step-father had done that much too often.

May he rot in hell. I’ll never forget, the short fat fingers, the nails in mourning.

I didn’t have an option. My hopeless attempts to refuse fruitless.

Still see his expression, hear his words.

I felt sick, I sweated and I sweated even more when I peeked in the dreadful lusty eyes.

After a lot of arguing I went ahead with the abuse anyway. And I kept him happy, because I loved my mother too much. And I didn’t want him to hurt her any further. He had broken her spirit a long time ago.

And every time he used me I died a little bit more. But I survived until now.

I’m done for, our silent commitment revealed for a part, how long will it take them to expose my life.

I’m sorry John, you were a good man but David en Ken found out.

And that kills me too.


End file.
